Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Precious Time

Time is such a precious thing and arguably the most important aspect of life that we cannot control. Sure, money is important to pay for necessities and to maintain a desired lifestyle. But, it is the following adage which really resonates with me: "You can make more money but you cannot make more time." This is a powerful reminder to make the most of the time we have. It reinforces the high value I now place on time relative to money. I haven't always had this mindset but life events have certainly contributed to a shift.

I grew up with very little as my hardworking immigrant parents struggled to support their six children and two aging parents. I remember having just one toy, a Batman car, when I was six. Stretching the few dollars we had was key to our livelihood. And, it is through my parents' tremendous work ethic, focus on family and insistence on educational achievement that have allowed each of their six children to enjoy lives with far more possessions, choices and opportunities than they came into the country with.

And, as I grew up, I valued the dollar as much as everyone else. Ideas of being wealthy and having all that one could desire was a nice goal. It was not a bad dream either. However, in the real lives of most of us, what wealth can be attained is far from the riches of our fantasy. So, we all grow up eventually and our goals shift. Like many, becoming a parent forced me to take a serious look at my life goals. As my two children grew from babies to toddlers to preschoolers, it really dawned on me how fast time goes. Seeing two little people grow so much in what seemed like a very brief period of time really made me wonder in amazement. And, to know that you can never ever get that time back to see them as 3 year olds ever again is a sad reality.

While I was enjoying my corporate career and earning enough to pay for necessities, contribute to college and retirement savings and afford practically all we wanted in our chosen modest lifestyle, my kids grew up with the loving care of my wife at home. I had yearned to be there, too, to experience their daily lives. I balanced my work with my home life as my career allowed and that certainly helped. I enjoyed being there to watch my young children grow as much as I did and am thankful I had the commitment and flexibility to do so. Still, time passed too quickly.

But, it was three years ago when my life changed in many profound ways. My mom, whom I was very close to, passed away. The saddest part for me was and remains the fact that my mom will not physically be here to watch my children grow and for my children to experience her love and wisdom. Immediately following her passing, I dove into a wonderful career opportunity where I utilized my grief-fueled energy. As I grew to accept the sadness that will always be there, the teary-eyed clouds parted and I saw what was truly important in my life - my children. It was then I committed to a life goal of being an active parent of my young children.

I stepped down from that prominent role to be closer to home and spend more time with my young family. The tradeoff has proven to be invaluable and priceless. It has proven to me that, without any doubt, time is worth more than money at this point in my life. And, the benefits I've enjoyed the past year have enticed me to seek even more.

For years, I had expressed my strong desire to be a stay at home dad. And, as my children quickly grow towards their teen years, I realize my time to be a stay at home dad was fleeting. So, after much consideration of many aspects of our lives, I proposed a career switch with my stay at home wife. After much discussion and deliberation over a few months, we have agreed to do so.

As you can imagine, I am elated by our decision. In numerous ways, I am confident all four of us will benefit from the change. And, through thoughtful (and sometimes fortunate) decisions made before we were even married, we are in a comfortable financial position to even consider this. I look back at my 18 year corporate career at the same company and am satisfied with the decisions I made. The decision to leave the company where I practically grew up in is an easy one knowing I am going to a role that is way more important and fulfilling. There is no money or promising career track that can buy the precious and fleeting time I have with my children while they are young. I have worked hard to get myself in position to enjoy the opportunity to do so is now. I know I will enjoy managing the household and the opportunity to pursue my next goal of being an elementary school teacher. Most of all, I will cherish the time I get to spend and teach my children.

My mom taught me a lot in the 41 years I had with her. She left behind many lessons and memories. It's in her passing, though, that one very valuable lesson was shared. And, that is to value the time we have now with those we love. It goes by too fast and while you can't slow that time down, you can make thoughtful decisions on how you spend it. After all, you can't make more time.