As I wake up on my birthday, I find myself contemplating a few things.  First, there's a new number to my age and it is indeed quite odd.  What is 47 anyway?  Am I still in my mid-40s? Am I almost 50?  It's kind of in between, isn't it?  

When I was much younger, I could not fathom what I would be at this age.  It just seemed so distant and so old.  Perhaps, I am considered old to those who have not achieved the maturity to appreciate life.  But, age is a relative thing and certainly an inaccurate barometer for health, attitude, wisdom and happiness.  

I can look at this day as just another one in a life that goes by too fast.  Or, I can use this as a time to reflect.  

Am I better husband, father, brother, and friend?  Have I matured, learned, and grown?  Have I pursued my passions and enjoyed life?  Have I made those who I care about laugh or made their lives better in some way?  Have I given more of myself than others have given me?

I ask these particular questions of myself often and when I cannot find answers that satisfy me at the moment, I chalk it up to life's continuing challenges and press on.  

So, as I celebrate this day so my children can have a moment to treasure, I remind myself of the never ending goal of being a better person.  I think of my mom and dad who would accept no less of me.  I think about all those people in my life, young and old, near and far, personal and virtual, real and fictional (um, that's a joke), and am thankful for their friendship and support.  I think of my children and hope that I make them proud, make them laugh, and teach them enduring life lessons.

I am far from being the best person I can be and each birthday is a reminder to me to keep trying!

Cruising fun on NCL Breakaway!

We just got back from a super fun week on the brand new Norwegian Cruise Line Breakaway which is billed as the largest cruise ship ever to home port in New York City.  We had an unforgettable family cruise on the NCL Spirit in 2007 and a great trip on the NCL Jewel in 2010.  While the Breakaway had the same itinerary to Florida and the Bahamas, we figured we would enjoy the amenities of the larger, six month old vessel and we sure did!  The Breakaway was immaculate, the service was terrific and the entertainment, activities and food were all fantastic.  Check out this 2 minute review of the seven days of fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ16syq-xI8&fmt=22

We have our eyes on Breakaway's sister ship, the Getaway, which arrives in Miami in early 2014.  And, we are looking forward to an even larger ship, the NCL Escape in 2015.  It's time to start saving again!

My first summer as SAHD was awesome!

Backpacks are ready. Kids will be in bed early for the first time in over ten weeks. Another school year is upon us.  While new memories are ahead, I look back at an amazing summer - my first as a stay at home dad.

We enjoyed so many new experiences including our first Six Flags theme parks (Great Escape and Great Adventure), daring ropes course, NFL football game and visits to the Bronx Zoo.  Two Bon Jovi concerts and All Star Game Weekend events at CitiField were thrilling. Road trips to Albany and South Jersey were fun.  Throughout the summer, we played lots of baseball and tennis, competed in town field activities, swam in the town pool and just enjoyed time with friends and family.

I thoroughly enjoyed creating and leading an instructional sports program and coaching my son's baseball team.  The players and their families even won a contest by cramming 25 of us into a VW Beetle at a minor league baseball game.  This summer, I somehow managed to complete three summer courses and deliver a TEDx talk at my high school.

So, while the summer break is over, I am satisfied we made the most of it. I hope you enjoyed these few months as well.  Time moves so fast for many of us and we can only aim to enjoy it to the fullest.  Now that the first day of school is upon us, what do we do next?  We're off to Disney World!

Click here to watch 25 of us cram into a VW Beetle in 35 seconds.

Nine already?!?

Nine.   My son just turned nine.  Wow… and yikes!  I shudder with sadness at thoughts of how much he will continue to grow and change.  I don’t dread the future because of the different challenges it will present.  I dread it because that will mean my son will no longer be the sweet young boy he is today.  While he is just one year from having two digits for his age, Matthew still has much of the innocence that only a young child can have.  Oh, but for how much longer will I enjoy that?

Matthew reminds me so much of myself when I was his age.  He is kindhearted, gentle, polite, agreeable, analytical, imaginative, and never suffers from boredom.  Matthew has a positive and pragmatic outlook on life and the future. He loves being at home with his family but always has a fun time with his friends.  He enjoys school and academic challenges and while not naturally gifted in any particular sport, he is willing to work to improve for his own personal achievement.  My siblings even confirm that my son and I share many similar physical characteristics and personality traits at his age.

We do have different experiences however.   I didn't have the affectionate relationship with my dad as Matthew has with me.  I never snuggled with my dad nor did I learn to play any sports from him except if you consider reading the horse racing pages of the newspaper a sport.  I didn't get long winded life lessons nor zany attempts at humor that Matthew is subjected to.  My dad was a very reserved and stern man.  While I can’t turn back the hands of time, I know I can maximize the chance I have now.  The days of Matthew’s childhood are going fast and I am determined to enjoy as much of them as I can.

Happy birthday to the most wonderful son this Daddy could ever ask for.

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The stress over assessments... sigh.

"Filling in the bubbles" testing is not new.  We completed such tests when we were in elementary school and they have been administered to students before and after us.  However, this year's state assessments in public schools to 1.3 million of third to eighth grade students in New York State, including over 200,000 on Long Island are causing more stress than usual for two reasons.  The tests are based on new standards and, for the first time, students' scores will affect individual teacher's performance reviews.  It's a perfect storm to cause concern for districts, administration and teachers who are all worried about how the assessment results will reflect on them. It's absolutely understandable especially considering how maligned the education profession has been by the public in recent years.  Educators walk on eggshells these days and that's a shame for many who are hardworking and dedicated to their profession.

Unfortunately, young students can be caught up in the stress.  But, that shouldn't be the case.  Parents need to remain calm and assure their children that this is just another assessment like they took a year ago and like the ones we took when we were in school.  Parents could share that their children are among many, many students taking the assessments.  If they have been near the top of their class throughout this school year, their assessment results will reflect that.  If they have struggled, the assessment results may get them the additional help they need next school year.  Most of all, parents should not add to the stress their children may be getting from principals, teachers, other parents and other students.  It's just another round of tests that will further validate what parents probably already know about their child's academic proficiency.

The bigger philosophical issues are whether the curriculum should be so rigorous and the assessments be such high stakes.  Well, Americans haven't been happy with how their students compare to others around the world.  So, we have a tougher curriculum meant to standardize widely varying state standards and increase the rigor of K-12 education so that we can feel better about how we compare.  And, the public seems to want teachers to be held accountable for their students' results.  So, we are now linking those results to teacher evaluations.  This is quite a simplification of the larger issues, but it just seems the public got what it asked for.     

As a future educator, it pains me to see how teachers are vilified by some as if they are enemies to parents.  It's a sad part of our culture.  It hasn't deterred me from pursuing my dreams of teaching though.  I've got over two years before I step into the changing profession (hopefully) and I'm sure even more changes will take place by then.  Coming from a corporate career where change and reorganization was constant from the my first year to my last, I hope I can fit right in!

Lessons from tragedy

Life constantly presents learning opportunities especially if you are a parent to young children.  My out-of-the-box decision to leave a fulfilling career to pursue my passions has been an enriching life lesson to my kids.  My wife and I have connected how the life choices we made since college allowed me to do this. 

Not everything in life is as inspiring as going after your dreams but much can present opportunities to learn.  Death of a loved one causes great sadness but the challenge is how to overcome that and move on with life while cherishing wonderful memories.  It's a harsh lesson for children whose heads are full of dreams and possibilities for their own lives.  But, it can be an enriching experience as well. 

Our children recently lost their last grandparent.  Since then, we have had the opportunity to share our feelings, answer questions, reflect on warm memories, learn more about family history, instill culture, and discuss our beliefs and those of others on what happens after a person passes.  Through open and thoughtful conversation, our children can better understand how to cope with their emotions and what the loss means to each of us.  A sad event like this can help children better appreciate the lives they have.  It's a valuable life lesson they will never forget.

So, look for opportunities in your own lives to learn and teach.  They exist.  We just have to make the most of them. 

Where do I start a list of what I'm thankful for?

On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for many things.  But, where does that list start?  Should I be thankful for my parents who conceived me?  Or, perhaps the thanks go to their parents for having them?  Of course, the same dilemma applies to my wife with whom my life today would not be the same?

And, how about being thankful for our two wonderful children?  Well, we did conceive, nurture and teach them so perhaps we should be thankful to each other for what they are today.

I'm thankful to have the opportunity to fulfill my passion of being a stay at home dad and pursue another of being an elementary school teacher.  But, I did work long and hard to get to this point.  And, I guess I should be thankful that my wife chose a profession where we could afford our decision to switch careers.  Oh, and how about being smart enough to buy a house in a lovely neighborhood that we can afford on one income...  and, lucky to have done so before last decade's housing boom?

Considering the damage so many suffered during last month's storm, we are thankful that we didn't even lose power.  Who knew that living two blocks from a substation has certain advantages?  We are indeed thankful we were able to provide family and friends warm meals, hot showers and a place for fun conversation.

So, while I can amusingly draw a fuzzy line on the list of things we are thankful for, I am appreciative of what we have.  Beyond the material things, I am most thankful for the experiences of being a dad, husband, brother, uncle, son-in-law, friend, neighbor, and teacher the most.  To me, the value of one's life is measured by those experiences and not by possessions or wealth.  

To my family and friends, you enrich my life and for that, I am thankful for you.